drawing time but with existential questions about prettiness

I cannot get over my horrible aesthetics block! I am unhappy unless I look at a half naked girl on a motorbike with hair curled in the wind (fan machine) with a bunch of gorgeous tim kern tattoos. y0. i am really in distress because now that (inability to like my own sillie stuff) added itself to my list of problems w/ life,like constant search of god or the meaning of satan (what is the real number of the be4st,who is behind all that dualism, why isn't there at least four divine entities opposing themselves so our human souls are nourished with paradox and beauty or...) or why am i unhappy when i have a Jackson song a click away.
(thank U Cassandra)

To conclude,I find it hard to draw something meaningful and playful and not being disgusted by it.
I'll just go on drawing from posemaniacs,I keep on dwelling in a fantasy where I wake up in 400 years and all is DIFFERENT and we can make our obsessions into robots (vasectomy robots,depression robots serving you tea) and tmmrw I kook that delicious tofu lime soy chili thing for lunch again and some thai-tofu stuff for dinner.

Life RULEZ ok.